Thursday, October 9, 2008


Check it:


Okay, I'm coming out.

There's no use downplaying my nerdiness as a fan. As some of you may know from GateWorld or from our videos (though apparently we're good at hiding it), my sister and I are Spanky shippers. Somehow "Spanky" means Teyla and Ronon.

What does this mean?

In season 2 we actually thought Teyla and Ronon were supposed to like each other (and Weir was supposed to have a crush on John, as we play up in our fan films) and were surprised that once we became more "involved" with the internet fandom, we learned that there wasn't supposed to be much chemistry between Teyla and Ronon at all (or between Weir and Sheppard). Season 3 aired, then season 4, during which Teyla and Ronon seemed to solidify their family-like bonds. I see less "romantic" potential for them now than in season 2, but it's still possible with imagination and reading between the lines, as we shippers do.

Yes, I waste time making backgrounds like this... the lyrics are from "Should I Fall Behind" by Faith Hill

To clarify, though, no -- I don't ever imagine the characters becoming sappy sods cooing "I love yous." They're both warriors and individuals of great dignity. But there is a potential of deepening the characters and healing old wounds through furthering their bond (as I think we saw in "Echoes"). For the most part, I see it as a Courtly Love Romance -- the knight faithfully serving the lady he can never have. Oh yes, I am a total sucker for a good love story. The problem is, I'm not so good at writing them without laughing at my own work, (maybe it stems from personal experiences but I feel more comfortable writing about heartache) so when I first conceived of a love story that I felt very passionately about (inspired by Hayley Westenra's rendition of "Listen to the Wind," written by the genius composer James Horner), I decided to try my idea out as a fanfiction before an original piece. You know, to see what people thought of the plot and themes, obviously not the characters who I didn't own (though I admittedly offered up a different view of them).

So I wrote my first Stargate Atlantis fanfic -- Listen to the Wind. I've written about three since, though this one remains closest to my heart, probably because it contains so much of myself within the writing. And my two favorite SGA characters happen to be playing out the bittersweet drama.

I have since re-written it as an original piece, but it's too long for a short story and too short for a novel, so I am thinking of expanding it for both a novel and script, if I can maintain my gasp on the aesthetic balance I'd like to keep.

Nature plays a huge role in my life. When I am out in the forests I feel such an overwhelming peace and sense of belonging that I think, "this must be what a church feels like to some." If that is so, then the redwoods are my cathedrals, the filtering light my stained glass, the animals my fellow faithful. Hey, what can I say? I'm Irish. Adoring all that is green and growing and of the earth is in my blood. Listen to the Wind embodies much of my love of the wild, making Nature a character.

It's a message about life. You know from the prologue that Ronon is already dead (so no, I didn't just spoil it -- it's literally the first sentence!). Since I didn't feel I knew a lot about the character back when I wrote the story, I used Ronon as the vehicle of some of my philosophies, lending him a voice I still believe the character has the potential to possess, if only give the time and space. The story is a series of vignettes, all taking place in quiet, unguarded moments when Teyla and Ronon are alone. The idea was that they're more open without the eyes of others, when they've been lured into a sense of belonging. I guess I should shut up in case you want to actually read it. Or see if this inspires you to check it out (this video isn't one of my best but if you dis the song I will hate you. It's one of my very favorites ever and yes -- I literally do film plants):

In fact, I was going to say a little something about each story, but realized that would take the fun away for anyone who is interested in finding out for themselves, so I'll pull the reins up a bit here.

The next story I wrote was called Where Once Was Gold.

It was more the story of Ronon's emotional recovery after facing his past in "Sateda," than a romance, so I wrote a sequel, Now Is Light, (see how nicely the titles go together? ;)) which was also a small homage to Last of the Mohicans.

More recently, I have been churning out chapters for a story titled Branded Heart.

It's really sad. I've worked on this fanfic far more than I have on my thesis for graduation -- my thesis that is intended to be a publishable novel. I need to get my priorities in line, right? I think it's the lure of instant gratification -- I post a chapter and get instantaneous feedback and insight. I don't have to work to get you to care about the two main characters since they're already loved by the readers. Though I must say, this is the longest fanfic I've ever written, and is epic by my fanfic standards. As a side note, all my fanfic can also be found on

I have another account on YouTube where I post any music videos I've made (because I'm afraid posting footage from the show will get the vids yanked and my whole channel shut down, fan films and all if I post the music videos there, as happened last time!) like the one at the top of this post. I'm most proud of my more recent vids, which I was able to make more "artistic" thanks to a certain blog reader turning me on to Sony Vegas. ;)

The Bird and the Worm

Basically, Ronon goes nuts in the reality where Michael killed Teyla:

Teyla is dead -- Ronon has lost his best friend. Whispers from his past haunt and plague him. "You're not good enough," they say. "You couldn't save her." And so he begins to lose his grip as his guilt gnaws at him until his reckless actions take him on a suicide mission, after which he hopes to be with Teyla once more.

Nothing Else Matters

Teyla has an erotic dream that reminds her that no matter what has happened, Ronon has always been there for her... and nothing else matters.

WARNING: Some mature content and spoilers up to "Kindred, I" of season four.

An erotic dream? Oh yes, I did stoop that low. ;)

Orchard of Mines

"Just take one step at a time." Two fragile warriors are each other's shadows and while they struggle with their pride, their actions and quiet moments speak to the depth of their bond. Love is not always spoken.

This one was made as I learned the program. Thanks, Mo!

There're a bunch more videos on there, too. Most are SGA, but some are also trailers for the Lord of the Rings stories I've also written.

One I'm particularly proud of is a trailer for a story I never completed: To Roam the Wild Lands Forever. I'll let it speak for itself. (And yes, editing something like this when you only have two audio tracks is a royal pain and forces you to be extra creative!)

To Roam the Wild Lands Forever

I really am a productive nerd, aren't I? At least the writing and writing and writing is building my literary muscles so that when I do go to work on my original fiction, metaphors and imagery flow that much easier.

Sometime I'd like to share a piece of original work with you guys (if I can stop worrying about having my work stolen over the net -- though two stories are registered with the WGA and thus legally protected), but until that day, hopefully sometime soon, I'll post this short SGA fanfic I wrote last spring when I was feeling particularly whimsical. I don't always write in such an ethereal style, but it seemed fitting for such a short piece. I hope you enjoy!


We Are the Heavens

Author’s Note: Ronon’s thoughts on the events at the end of season four: Teyla’s pregnancy, her relationship with Kanaan, her kidnapping by Michael.

And so it begins.

I watch you grow thin lines between your brows. I watch you close your eyes. I watch your lips part in silent sighs. I see your light.

In the cloistered, cool halls of a city on the sea I feel your shadow. It stalks me, stealing my breath when I turn to face it. It isn’t there. I am lost. Where have you gone? I feel you clinging to me with carrion covered claws. My memory of you is like a ship without sails. The winds have changed but I remain steadfast. I will not let go.

You walked in a fog. You looked away from my eyes, but I could see it still. I always could. You are like me. You hide your dreams. You guard your tearstains. But I see you like a tree rustling in the wind. I see you like a whisper.

I saw...

I kept your secret for you. I didn’t tell them I knew. You didn’t know I could see through you like a shroud in the light. Your life and the life you nourished were your choices. You didn’t know my heart smiled for you. I should have told you. Fear... fear betrays us all.

He was your sheltered pasture and I so wanted for you to find peace. Peace that I could never have. Peace that left each time your eyes stirred my soul... singing in sighs to the raining mist in my mind, beckoning it to cease. Peace that fled with your featherlight touch, for each brush of your fingers reminded me that it would not last... what I could not have...

And now you’re gone.

I’m on my knees.

I wish I were bleeding. I should be bleeding. I couldn’t stop him from taking you. I couldn’t even tell you that I need you.

I will find you.

If you return and live with your lover, I will be happy. I want you to feel the sunlight.

If you return and we continue our dance, I will be happy. A glance with a warm ember in your earthen eyes. A laugh like the tickle of water. A breath reaching my skin, like the song of the moonlight. I live for you.

So I will find you. I will bleed. I will burn. I burn for you.

You are my whispered promise of sleep in starbreath. I am your lion wrought of sunflame. We are the heavens.


Mackenzie's Momma -- Great post about Palin, and I'm so happy to have helped inspire it! :D And as for your town... mine is actually about the same size as yours! No movie theater. No entertainment (unless you cound spying on the local Omish-like group that just showed up one day and bought 1/4 of the town). The clips were taken downtown in the nearby coastal city, about 6 miles away. I should have specified that, but am nervous about posting location details on the net. I mean, I guess a psycho could already figure out where I'm at by reading and analyzing all my posts, but I try to be careful not to include too many place names. Maybe I'm paranoid. ;)

Mo -- Wow, your Vampire class sounds like a lot of reading. If yo do make it to Twilight, you'll have to share your thoughts. I picked the first one up in Borders last week, flipped to a random page and read three sentences then laughed out loud and the sheer stupidity of the writing. "She became aware of a pain in her temple. Surprised, she realized that someone had thrown something at her." She felt the pain first, which didn't surprise her, then is so slow that she realized someone had pegged her (probably because she's a stupid whiney teen) then was suprised. Even if the story is good, there's only so much bad writing I can take, and when you open to a random page in the middle of a book and already can't take it, that's bad. The disturbing thing is how many people guzzle this stuff up. I'll probably never get published. ;) I'll have to do a post about another popular book that I have been reading for laughs... Your TV class sounds interesting... are you just learning about color chips and f-stops and headroom or do you get to work in a studio?

Tracie -- I didn't. :( But I did see most of what I believe was the first ep way back when it premiered on the net and liked it. :) It was cool to see Amanda Tapping (and so many other SG actors) in a very different role... but Amanda, sweetheart, you really need to work on that English accent. ;)


Mo said...

Alas, we don't get to work in a studio, though I've already done it--we basically learn about the ins and outs of TV, basically analyzing it as reliable source as literature. It honestly is some of the most time consuming class I've ever taken.

I do love my Atlantis (except that I'm only on "The Queen"-what happened to my title sequence!), but I've never been classified as a "shipper" until I decided I loved McKay and Keller. Its just so random and doesn't have a weird name like "Spanky" which I don't get. Then again, I do also stay out of the popular fandom, because I've noticed a lot of people are mean, and I don't have time for that!

Mackenzies Momma said...

Thanks for the inspiration. I was really nervous about writing it as I haven't delved much into the political stuff on my blog.

Well glad to know that I'm not the ONLY one in a 'small' town. We have a movie theater which is rather odd, but its now (once again) the only thing to do around town. We used to have a pool hall but apparently it closed down.

We don't really have much for entertainment, unless you count hanging out at the library filching free internet until 9pm "entertainment".

I do a lot of reading and just picked up 4 new books last night that looked really good.

"The Years of Lyndon Johnson Means of Ascent" by Robert A. Caro.

"The American Dream" by Dan Rather

"All the Best, George Bush My life in Letters and other writings" By George Bush(Sr)

and the one I'm most intrigued by is

"The Girls Who Went Away- The hidden History of Women who surrendered children for adoption in the decades before Roe v. Wade" by Ann Fessler

OH! I can't forget! Welcome to the light of the Spanky Realm, its much nicer than the closet. If I ever have free time(ha!) I'll have to check out some of your fan fictions. I've just been far too busy with my art muse lately working on wallpapers, banners, and the occasional writing.