Sarah Palin

Since today was a repeat of last Monday with another huge stock market crash/"dip," I thought it was an appropriate time to mention a little something.

Sarah Palin can suck my... chicken-poop-covered toe.

There are so many things I dislike about this woman that I probably won't be able to list them all. On Saturday the ignoramus bastardized a quote from Madeline Albright (that she claimed to have read on the back of a Starbuck's cup) and said, "There's a place in hell reserved for women who don't help other women."

Let's get something straight here. A woman candidate is not necessarily a women's candidate.

In fact, Palin has done far more harm to feminism and its causes than good. Women in her state are required to pay for their own rape kits. That's right -- if you get raped, get a second job so that the government can provide one of it's most basic services. Granted, this practice was instituted by the governor who preceded Palin, but there are no signs that Palin has done jack shit to rectify this insulting practice. "Budget cut" my ass. Don't tell me they could'n't have cut funding for something at least less-easy to sensationalize.

Sarah Palin is carbon copy of McCain -- both want to overturn Roe v. Wade and make abortion illegal. Regardless of your religious/ethical views, it is not for you, or me, or anyone else to speak for another individual in a matter like this. The choice should be belong to the woman (and hopefully the couple) involved and must never be taken away, for making abortion illegal would do nothing to rectify the alleged problem of abortions. They would continue in less sanitary, unhealthy back alley clinics, at best.

Furthermore, Palin supports abstinence only education. Uh, you'd think her teenage daughter getting pregnant would've taught her that "abstinence only" does not work. And sorry lady, but whether you're teaching kids about sex in school or not, they're going to find out everything they know (and often lies) from each other long before they even set foot in the health room. Sex ed teaches kids how to be safe -- it's not an endorsement of teenage pregnancies/sex.

I could continue... but now I arrive at my most telling point. Have any of you seen the Saturday Night Live skits parodying her? I was cracking up at them until I found out that half the time, they're quoting Palin verbatim. Damn, girl.

When asked what she thought of the first SNL skit, Palin responded that while she watched it, she kept the volume all the way down so could only really comment on it being a good likeness of her. There's my biggest red flag. As someone who churns out parodies and forays into satire, seeing a public, political figure who can't laugh at herself scares the shit out of me.

To add insult to injury, when asked about her hilariously horrible interview with Katie Couric, Palin said that she's trying to create job security for Tina Fey. That's right. Bitch is trying to make a joke about herself after admitting that she can't handle the humor.

Sarah Palin, you do not represent me nor any self-respecting woman on the face of this earth and the thought of you being a heartbeat away from the presidency is a death knoll. How can you redeem yourself? First off, wipe that shit-eating grin off your face, shove your "folksy" anecdotes where they belong -- far away from real country people who are insulted by your stereotypes -- get an education (you're standing on the shoulder's of giants [feminists] and taking poops on them like a bird), and most importantly, grow a sense of humor and stop with the jokes that were so lame I never laughed in the first place!

"What's the difference between a bulldog and a hockey mom? Lipstick."

"What's the difference between a bulldog and Sarah Palin? One's a bitch. And it ain't the dog."

To hear more from feminists of my generation, check out the awesome site Feministing.com.

And on a completely different (yet somehow related) note, we finished our new chicken coop a month ago and shortly after the chicks moved in, so did the rats. Since we've lost our barn cat (Jack, where are you?! :() we've had to resort to an electric rat zapper. The culprits are killed instantaneously, but I still feel awful about it. I mean, one night we caught 5 in a row. We're murdering whole families and generations! But the buggers are not only scaring the feck out of our hens and stealing their food, but are also digging holes in the barn (yes, through the cement floor) and in our horse's stalls, creating holes that could potentially break their legs.

One night I set up our motion-sensitive camera to catch them in action, digging their way in. Some of the shots were triggered by rats, others by chicks scratching about in the coop, others by Teyla. But I'm pretty sure the rats you see here are dead now. Let us say farewell and thank them for dying so that others may live better. Bye, ratties!

Mackenzie's Momma -- Your hair looks smashing. ;) And gods, that must be awful to keep hearing that about your little girl! My little cousin also has a heart murmur, but it's my understanding that when you're born with a small one it's nothing to worry about -- just the way you're made! LOL I know, I'm a bad fan for not having gotten A Dog's Breakfast until now. But at least I went and saw it on the big screen when David Hewlett was touring around with it!

Oh, and school? It's keeping me busy, busy, taking way more units than most. But I'm getting to do some creative writing along with the work of a TA and Lit student stuff (essays, research...) so it's been great fun to throw caution to the wind and get some of my crazy stories workshopped. I should try to put up a sample of my writing at some point... or give you a hint about where to look for my fanfiction. ;) I hope you're well!