Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Let's Let the Clown Out of the Box

"What doesn't kill you makes you... stranger."

The sad news about Stargate Atlantis being canceled has pissed me off so much that I've come out of my blogging lurkdom... if you call not blogging for nearly a month "lurkdom." My sister and I have oft commented that we'd like to hire The Joker of The Dark Knight (one of the best movies ever made, by the way, and I'm not just saying that because I love Batman and Heath Ledger has re-defined talent) to blow up all the schools in the country (with no one in them, of course) so that we wouldn't have to go back. Well, know I'm adding the Sci Fi Channel to the list.


Yes, I understand that Atlantis gets more expensive to produce each year, but c'mon, what the hell are they gonna spend the freed up money on? The Saturday night movies that take every remotely threatening animal and turn them into one of the most spectacularly terrible "monster movies"? I seriously saw one advertised that was a colored-pencil drawn mammoth running amok on a street as the narrator said "An alien-possessed mammoth wreaks havoc..." It wasn't enough for it to be a rampaging mammoth, was it? It had to also be possessed by an alien.

Now I'm just going to unfairly rant because I refuse to watch anything on the Sci Fi Channel other than Atlantis. And even Atlantis has gotten painful because of the f*&%ing ads that scroll across the screen every five minutes. Is it just me or do ads like that make the rest of you loathe the show being advertised?

Bruce Wayne looks comfortable. He can pay for his own private TV shows.

I have never watched Eureka and don't intend to. Battlestar Gallactica was a soap opera full of unnecessarily scantily-clad women, from the bits and pieces I've seen. And everything else non-Stargate on that channel is shit. No, shit's shit. Or shit's shit's shit. Take your pick. I lean towards the latter.

I am, of course, very happy that the show will continue in at least one DVD movie, and am glad that it's leaving while still going strong, but I'm still insulted. I mean, it's my favorite show! Those characters are my friends! How dare some middle-aged white people (probably guys) decide to take that away from me?!

I may be a bit self-centered at the moment but I'm entitled. Seriously, I am. And so are you, if you live in the US. Do you know what a TV station is? Do you know how they work? I didn't used to and when I found out, I got pissed (I know - I'm a very angry poster today).

The airwaves and the frequencies TV channels broadcast upon belong to us, the PEOPLE. How come we aren't taught that in elementary school? TV channels purchase a license as a right to broadcast upon a specific channel. This license is granted under the condition that the channel serve the interests of the people - it's viewers. This founding principle of television has been all-but lost. I watch very few shows these days because, for the most part, TV has become so constipated with crap that it's impossible to get any sort of quality out of a program, not even a fart's worth. So I choose not to watch. But wait a minute - those are my airwaves that these stations are squeezing their crap through! I shouldn't be not watching, I should be complaining.

Alfred agrees with me. Or maybe he's just having a senior moment.

Did you know that every citizen has the right to walk into a TV channel's HQ and ask to see the public file? The public file is a record of all mail from viewers. Did you know that if you do walk into a TV channel's HQ and ask to view the public file you'll more than likely be questioned rigorously and nervously watched for the duration of your viewing? Next to no one ever does this so when someone does, employees immediately assume imminent doom or auditing of some sort. Wouldn't it be great if a pack of us showed up at the Sci Fi offices in NYC and demanded to see the public file? Granted, we'd have to keep the rabble-rousers in check to keep them from going Satedan and commandeering the building like AIM did to many BIA buildings in the 70's, but still.

Anyway, my point is, no matter how much we're taught that we don't have a voice in our entertainment, we do. So complain. Bitch. Moan. Fling feces. Sign petitions. Write to the people in charge at Sci Fi. They're required by law to listen to you, so please, let your voice be heard!

By the sounds of it this decision was made quite a while ago and no amount of fan complaints will change the outcome (especially since MGM has this lame contract that won't let them seek out another channel to produce the show), but let them know that they've, you know, pissed you off so much that you're willing to get off your fat American (or Canadian) ass, hunt them down, and complain.

If only more people would get mobilized for political reasons... but that's another issue.

Um... yeah. The wig idea died before it even began.

Switching the subject, I apologize for the lack in posts lately. I've been lazy. But I have several pictures saved and ready for posting so I'll attempt regularity again soon!

And by the way of business, I have two retractions: 1. The fires that I previously stated were started by an arsonist were not. That was a false radio report. Allegedly they were caused by hot stuff coming out of car mufflers. 2. Pete isn't the pie-stealer in O Brother, Where Art Thou? but rather Delmar is. My apologies, Pete!

Okay, so I don't really want to switch the subject. What I want to do is dress up as The Joker and waltz into the Sci Fi office and lecture them all about how "un-diagonal" they all are and not snap out of character no matter how much they ask me who I am. A Joker with boobs - how disturbing would that be? About as shocking as discovering a role for a female lead that had enough character and dignity for me to actually be jealous of the actress who got the part. Erm... I'll save that rant for later.

The Joker was an Atlantis fan

For now, I leave you with this video - what I'd like to do to the person(s) who decided to axe Atlantis. Just replace Bruce Wayne with one of the Sci Fi Channel tards and you get the picture.

Batman and The Joker

Mo - Dang, hopefully your province won't have another fire for a long time. Ours have definitely calmed down - it's so nice to have clean air and a non-blood-red sun!

And Tracie - If you come back and read this, thank you so much!


Tracie said...

Your Welcome. I didn't even hear that Atlantis was cancelled. That Sucks! However, I highly recommend Eureka. It's SO funny! If you were a SG-1 fan you would love it, it has a alot of Col O'Neill feeling about it.

Mackenzies Momma said...

Oh man apparently Sci Fi is trying to commit suicide by mob, eh?

It is taking all my self control to not get up and storm around murdering small innocents at Sci Fi that is how mad I am.

Though this is starting to make me wonder if I am the kiss of death for TV shows. I think that almost everything that I have 'loved' recently has ended up cancelled or disappearing from TV. *sighs* I must go now and formulate a plan with my minions.