Rants and Season Premieres!

First off, thank you guys for the welcome back! :D

But now I must put a warning on this post: it contains potentially offensive, politically incorrect material, as does every post by me. I have two major issues to rant about.

1. Obesity

I've always heard the statistics that Americans are vastly overweight, but I've never seen it in my area, so I always assumed people were making a fuss for no reason. That is, until we traveled around South Dakota in 2005. Where are all the fat people? In the Midwest! I mean, sitting in the massive Cabella's store I counted five people who were so overweight that they had to be pushed around in wheelchairs. But what's even worse is that these people have spread to the Sierra Nevada of California!

Now, I'm a young, currently single gal, so while camping I kept my eye out on any newcomers in case there'd, you know, be a cute guy my age camping with his family. I've kept my hopes up ever since the one time when I was 16 I learned how to eye flirt by checking out this guy with a body like a model. Then one evening he stopped me with the cheesy line of "Excuse me, but don't I know you from somewhere?" I wish I could remember the conversation but my mind went so haywire that I could hardly talk. I have no clue what the poor sod's name was and when he asked me mine, I panicked, having no clue what I was called, and remember thinking, "Crap, he won't know the difference, just tell him a name, any name! Um, Bob! Shit, wait, that's a guy's name! OMFG I can't think of any girls' names! Katie! Is Katie a girls' name? I'll tell him I'm a Katie" and then, of course, in the split second it took to freak out like that, I stuttered out my name. He was probably twenty or something but talk about hilarious. After our chat (again, of which I remember nothing but I think he invited me to his campfire) I was so shy that I'd look away whenever he'd look at me. And as always, my brothers were ready to shoot him.

But anyway, this year I kept thinking "How come all the guys here are fat?" which quickly eroded into "holy crap, all the guys here are fat because everyone here is fat!"

The first thing I saw when we pulled into our campsite was a fat kid's buttcrack hanging out of his pants as he played catch. He may have been 10 and was already so overweight that he could hardly move. That disgusts me. I know you can't tell your kid, "Listen up, hun, you're FAT" but you could at least try to change the family's habits as a whole to help your child. Don't people want their kids to live lives with the most opportunities? That doesn't exactly happen when you drop dead from a clogged artery at 11.

Then a whole family of fat people moved in next to us. Fat red necks were constantly waddling down to the beach with their beer, sitting in chairs in the water. My eyes! My eyes!

Okay, so I'm being a little dramatic, and the fat family that moved in next to us were the nicest people. So here's the part where I admit, in case you think I'm fatist (like racist except against fat people) that I get over appearance in a few seconds and if you're a fat friend of mine, I seriously don't notice unless you keep pointing it out, in which case I'm not sure what to say. I mean, "I've seen fatter" isn't exactly comforting.

But camping is an environment where people spy on each other in their daily lives. I mean, we're all squatting in the dirt (and paying money to do so) and get bored. And when you're camped right by the lake, you get the whole show. And I don't feel guilty seeing fat strangers and thinking that they're wrong.

Being fat is not good. I know some, or maybe a lot, of people have serious health issues and/or are just built bigger and couldn't lose weight/be thinner no matter how much they tried. But I also know that a lot of fat people in my family are fat because they don't exercise and they eat shit. I imagine that much of the country is like that, as well.

This is where it gets complicated because I do believe in unconventional beauty, no one should ever be discriminated against because of how they look, and Mika's "Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)" is one of the most amazing songs ever. But obese people upset me because it's so unhealthy. It's like watching a chain smoker. A lifestyle habit that's harmful. Sure, it might not be any of my business, but when it's an epidemic in my country, it kinda is.

I'm not trying to pass off any sort of "skinny person" judgment, because I could easily lose a few pounds, but I'm talking about people who were so large that my brothers literally had arguments over how someone that big could possible wipe their butt.

America, and the rest of the world (I actually saw more fat Aussies on my tour in Ireland than Americans) please, exercise! It's not that hard and it's needed to stay sane! The human body is the same as it was when we were living in caves -- we're designed to move. Lots. So please, start moving and lay down that donut. In nature, sugar occurs in fruits, so when you're craving something sweet, you're really craving fruits/vegetables, not sugar cane extract and processed, hydrogenated cupcakes!

In case you hate me right now, you might like to know that I have this little game. I judge my attractiveness every year while camping by if a guy asks me if I want a beer or not. I never say yes, but it lets me know I've "still got it." This year? Nada. That's right, at 24, I'm a wash up. A hag. Maybe the fat people sense my unattraction to them or maybe it's because we were only there 10 days rather than the usual 2 weeks, but still, the results are in. I'm nasty!

2. Bad Parents

I should say piss poor parents. Or something even ruder. Remember how I said everyone spies on each other? Well, there were plenty of parents on the beach in front of us, day in and day out, and it re-enforced the idea that not everyone should be a parent.

Remember those pretty Canadian geese and duckies I took pictures of? They'd cruise by every day in their various flocks, and almost every day, some little shit would chuck rocks at them. The parents would just sit there and let their kids try to harm the local wildlife. Only once did anyone say anything, and it was one of the awesome fat people near us, talking to a kid who she didn't even know, telling him not to chuck rocks at ducklings.

But seriously, what the f*&#@ is wrong with these kids in the first place to think, "I have a good idea. Imma chuck a rock at an adorable little duck!" and furthermore, what the *^%##!!$^*()&^$##@!!#%^&*()_)(*&^%$#@@!! is wrong with the parents who just sat there with bovine interest, letting their kids get away with it?!

And to make matters worse, these were the same parents who, half the time, would get up from sunbathing and randomly spank one of their toddlers. I can only imagine that it was because the kid was mouthing off, but what the f&*%!? If your kid is being a dick, you put them in time out, you restrict them from something they enjoy, etc. You don't spank them -- that teaches them nothing other than fear. My dad and his uncles were all spanked (more like beaten) when growing up every time any one of them would do wrong (yeah, if one kid stole a cookie, they all got whipped) and it taught them no sense of right or wrong, only fear. They'd behave because they were afraid, not because they knew better. Now two two are in jail. Go figure.

You know what spanking is? Laziness. It's "I'm too tired to put in the effort to actually teach you so I'm just gonna slap you to get you to knock it off." I'm a nanny so I know what it's like to be at the end of your rope with a kid, and can't imagine doing it day in and day out, but if you can't properly raise your kid then you shouldn't've had one in the first place. There's these little yellow pills and these things called condoms, people.

Okay. Rant is over. Fat people need to get healthy and lazy parents need to grow up. On to better things, like... our new fan film!

Our second season premiere, Stargate Atlantis: Hidden II is now up on YouTube!

Funny story about when we made this. After we finished filming on the second day, our water ran out. I was stuck as Ronon, with the beard, for hours. And it was hot, too! It reminded me of a conversation once had at the dinner table, when I excitedly suggested to Alex that for our second season, we switch who plays who, so I'd get to play Weir and she could play Ronon. My mom overheard and matter of factly said, without looking at us, "No, Kellie looks more like Ronon anyway." My own mother thinks I look like a man. Maybe the saddest part of this story is the fact that this isn't the first time I've heard this. Even a few years ago when we were making the Lord of the Rings fan films, the Lord of the Freaks, I constantly heard that I resembled Elijah Wood/Frodo. No wonder I didn't get offered a beer!

I'm ugly enough without being stuck as a man!

Enjoy!

Stargate Atlantis: Hidden II

Description: In our season two opener, Carson is mourned, secrets are revealed, and you won't believe the last five minutes... or maybe you will.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

MacKenzie's Momma -- Aww, bless your heart. That would've been awesome if you'd farm sat for us. What set up do you have at home? What do you raise/grow? And I think your hair looks lovely!

Mo -- Yes, the braids! As a kid I never had my hair out of twin braids. ;) I should've tied a message onto one of those geese and hoped he/she delivered it to you! Maybe they weren't from Canada, though, since it is summer. But yes, I'd love to see photos of your campus!

Back!

I’m back! And it’s certainly been a while since I posted. My apologies! Though I’m sure you all somehow survived without reading about my randomness for a few weeks.

Overall the camping trip went well. There were some days that the smoke from the nearby fires blew in so heavily that it was difficult to see across the lake and you could feel a grit coating your teeth. The day we arrived was one of those days. The moment I stepped out of the car and started walking around I felt dizzy like I was on an amusement park ride. Thank the gods for Sudafed!

The lake upon arrival. Smoke, not fog.

The drive there was nice, unlike the drive home. I read aloud from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows so that my mom and sister could finally catch up with the rest of the world. CDF were everywhere, fighting the fires.

Teyla the toot, still healing from her torn ligament, was grumpy and barking at everyone she saw. Imagine how fun it was for us.

The grumpy Toot

We stopped at Carl’s Jr. and I got my yearly quota of fast food. Seriously all I could take!

Jessica finally got her French fries!

And I’m a really good dancer in the car. (No, you don't want to know who I'm imitating.)

Oh yeah. My gift for putting out that lightning fire. Apparently Lucius dragged the hose through poison oak! And yes, my whole family is rather bow-legged.

We had lots of fun swimming and using the boat. One morning Alex and I woke up early and paddled up the river as the sun rose. The water was so cold our bones hurt!

Bathe me in dawnlight

Clear Sierra snowmelt

Heading upriver

Heaven

Leaving the canoe behind... and keeping an eye out for bears!

Now I wish I were there...

Rowing back to the lake and camp

Here are some of the other photographic highlights of the trip:

Chee Chee relaxing

The Curse of the Orange Sun followed us

I got in touch with my inner Rasta

The clear days were gorgeous, as always

Canada geese often stop by with their broods, looking for handouts that we probably shouldn't be giving them but do anyway

Independence Day! We decorated camp. The air was clean. We even had a cake.

And sometimes the smoke was pretty

And made for pretty sunsets (ignore the foreground )

Historic Nevada City -- the heart of Gold Country. Though I wonder what Tasunke Witko would think if he saw this bar named after him... and so far from his home in the Black Hills of South Dakota!

A flaming driftwood tipi...

The adorable little princess sleeping in a tent

Studying birds in a creek after a bike ride

Every year camping I seem to channel an old singer. 2005 was the year of Willie Nelson with two braids and a bandanna. I even started answering to Willie. 2006 was the year of the braids that were in for 2 weeks and became wannabe dreads. I was called Bob Marley. Last year was more of the same since the braids are great when you're always going in and out of the water, but this year was more of a mix, ending with braids like above, but started out like this:

I have no idea what I was looking at

This picture is like one of those blurry ones of UFOs or Bigfoot. This is not Comanche. This is Bernard. You can never tell when Bernard will take over and Chee Chee will leave. It's frightening, really.

On the last day, as we packed up early in the morning, we had a visitor

Isn't she adorable? I've always wanted a duck

And we didn't get the campsite we've gotten ever since I was 4 or so... and the woman who had it this year didn't even use it for the time she paid for, so we had to look at it empty for ages. In return, we decided to leave her a little "gift" for when she did show up.

The best highlight was probably during the few days that our friend Tony came up. He ripped off his swimming trunks to reveal his black speedo on his gloriously untanned, marshmallow-white body, and posed beside my brother as he drove the boat, waving at everyone we passed. Beautiful. I'd post pictures but am not sure he wants them floating about on the net!

The ride home was a frightening adventure, however. The smoke had been in for two or three days so we were all running low on brain cells after breathing it 24/7. We travel with a truck and fifth wheel trailer and a suburban and boat. The fifth wheel popped a tire about an hour out of camp and had to pull over. We doubled back and kept my brother company while my dad and other brother went to get a tire that fit (the spare had the wrong sized rim). Every car that whizzed by created such a vacuum that the suburban and boat were rocked. The wait turned out to be an hour, and Teyla decided she'd had enough and barked at all the cows outside the window, just to torture us.

Once back on the road again we had little trouble in our vehicle other than getting Teyla to stay in her seat. I once more read from Harry Potter, however on the side of the freeway I noticed something rather disturbing. A small tornado on the side of the road where there had been a fire, stirring up the ashes:

We don't get those in California. Creepy! Once we were all home, we learned that the truck had been in an accident during a lane change (in which the other guy who got hit had tried to speed up to avoid getting stuck behind a trailer and now the jerk is lying to the insurance company). As if that weren't bad enough, my diabetic brother, who had been following us home in his car, pulled up with a dazed expression, having no idea what he was doing. It turned out that his blood sugar was so low that he should've been in a coma (he was at the same level my dad was at last year camping when he did fall into a coma). Thankfully, he and everyone else are all right now, and we're home safely!

Chee Chee gets to run free for the first time in almost 2 weeks since he was always on a leash while camping

There was some smoke when we returned but it's been pretty clear lately, and even when it does come in, it's much less than it was a few weeks ago. The fires are finally getting contained, and we've had international help, which has been awesome.

After the braids were out... I have no idea who the feck that is...

Alex joined me with my hair style. Retarded savages!

mo - I didn't die! Not yet, at least. ;) And your campus sounds lovely! Since we don't get snow, all of ours are just sprawled out and nothing's covered. Makes it interesting when it rains. ;)

mackensie's momma - Hell yes it's his loss. Maybe he's just a scardey cat and needs a few months to gather up the courage to call? And while we were gone, several neighbors fed and looked after the animals. :) Though since the dogs were gone, a young coyote took up residence and picked off most of our chickens. :(

elluca - TARA! Gwathel-nin! Yay! *clomps* I miss and love you so! I'm off to check out your blog right now! :D

Dogs with Dreads, Stargates, Scary Suns and More!

Poor Mr. Chee getting shaved

We recently shaved Chee Chee, during which we realized that his fluff hid doggy dreads. We often tease that since we have feisty little Teyla, Comanche must be Ronon: He's big, can be somewhat intimidating but is really a sweetheart, and is constantly harassed, picked on, and abused by Teyla. It seems fitting. Well, now with his doggy dreads, I think he fits the bill a bit more. Just don't tell Ronon that Cheechers is neutered, has a "girly" bark, and hides under the deck if he thinks you have any intention of brushing him. Actually, maybe that last part works for Ronon, too...

Chee Chee is very nervous

I headed back over to my university last week to meet with my screenplay professor one last time. He gave me coverage from some reader with 4 MA degrees, and the reader was very distraught that my script, a work of fiction, did not follow the "official version" of the myth of Andromache. I had to laugh. It's a myth. It's fiction. There is no official version. And to add insult to injury, he cited the Aeneid as the "official" version. The Aeneid? As in the epic written by Virgil long after the founding of Rome, hundreds of years after the death of Homer, written as an entertaining fiction about how Rome was founded? Other than the fact that there are numerous conflicting versions of the myth (and for the record, mine is "inspired by" Homer's Iliad and Euripides' Trojan Women) Virgil was just playing with the cast of characters like I am. The only difference is he lived a few thousand years ago and is dead. We always give dead people a lot more respect than living people.

This reader warned that if my script were ever made, the critics might have a field day pointing out the discrepancies between my story and the "official" Aeneid version. To address this, my professor pointed at three dudes in the room who are making a movie.

"You, you ever read the Aeneid? You ever heard of it? Any idea who wrote it?"
One guy half-heartedly responded, "....I'm guessing Homer?"
My teacher looked at me with a slight smile. "You don't have a problem."

Hey -- to be honest, I hadn't ever even heard of the Aeneid until I read it as a college freshman in an honors course. "Virgil was just playing with the characters like I did. It would be as if I wrote the mythical story for the founding of California."

My professor's eyes lit up. "You should say that -- if anyone asks you, just be totally cocky and be like, 'yeah, I made up my own founding myth.'" Didn't I say this guy was inspirational? And I think I'm a big enough jerk to pull it off.

As I mentioned in my last post, smoke from a massive blaze down south has choked the air for days. Because of the wind, it was worse on the other side of the mountain range where my university is. I went up to the eighth floor of the library (so cool!) and took some pictures. You might not notice much if you're not familiar with the landscape, but the area isn't really flat. There is a range of mountains on the horizon... a range almost invisible in the smoke.





While up there I noticed a new something on the lawn.


Upon further investigation, I realized that it was a stargate with a pyramid-shaped DHD. I wonder if this is a new style the Ancients are trying out?


For fun, I filmed going down the 8 stories... and since I'm elevator challenged, yes, I did press the button for lobby instead of ground floor, and was mildly panicked when I was suddenly underground...

That same day I came home to find out that the poor Toot had torn a ligament in her back leg while wrestling with Comanche. I guess his inner Ronon finally came out. Plus the vet told us Teyla needed to loose 5lbs so maybe her fat was her undoing. Either way, it's very sad to see her hobbling about on three legs, but thankfully her leg will heal without surgery. She just has to rest for 3 weeks. And rest she has...

The Toot and her yoga sleeping positions

The smoke here has been dense throughout the week. This is what the view looks like today, which has been a pretty good day as far as smoke goes, though it's usually much clearer:


And this is what it looked like earlier in the week:


Last night my older brother and younger sister and I all had dizzy spells and felt light-headed. We assumed it was from the smoke... and also wondered if a peyote crop was burning or something.

Though last evening was the scariest. "You guys should come look at the sun," my older brother said. I headed out, wrapped in a blanket, expecting to see the same neon-orange sunset that has been common lately (as in the pictures in this post) and here:



...but was instead stopped in my tracks. I've never seen anything like it before. The sun was a vibrantly glowing red orb. Talk about disturbing. A blood red sun?! We tried to photograph it, but to make matters even scarier, it was impossible. As you'll see in this picture, the sun didn't even show up, even though it was in the shot!

Imagine that shade of red light times at least 10

The closest I got was this one where there is no color to the sun. You can see hints of red... but like a vampire, the red sun's image couldn't be recorded.

...yikes...

That coupled with the dizziness was enough to make the idea of aliens poisoning us all seem probable.

Well, this will be my last post for a while since we're heading off to go camping soon. Yes... heading into an area where the smoke is even worse than here. Not the brightest idea...

"Help us, George Bush!" my dad shouted at a low-flying chopper that passed by beneath the red sun last evening. Governor Schwarzenegger asked President Bush to declare California's wildfires as a federal emergency, and he has. It's about damn time. Hopefully this will bode well for resources to help combat the blazes. The air quality in many places is 10 times the federal standard for clean air.

So if you don't see a post by me for two weeks or so... don't assume I'm dead! ;)

To end things on a lighter note, here is an old clip (from 2006, I think) of what daily life is usually like (and no, there is no further explanation other than what you see here). Enjoy!

I get a visit from a "doctor":

Mackenzie's Momma - That's so cool! I'm so proud of you. You'll have to share any updates. ;) And 4-6 inches? Whoa!

Mo - ...2 1/2 FEET? You have balls, girl! Wow. And you're lucky that you like the cold! I'm such a wuss. I went to Ireland and froze. It's supposedly not good for me, but I love the sun. :)

Until next time, I hope you are all well, safe, and enjoying life! Much love, laughter, light, and inspiration!