Baby Tumnus

Isn't he just the most adorable little guy??? He was bottle-fed because his momma, sweet Banana, died shortly after giving birth.

A picture of Tumnus when he was a baby, for Mackenzie's Momma. I'll write more soon, but for now, I'm enjoying an early spring day with blossom breath in the air and poems in my heart.

Some Thoughts on Beauty

Yeah, I don't get it, either

Here are the final shots from the photo shoot. Neither the photographer or I are very happy with them. My inexperience shows in how stiff I am, the lighting was really tricky that day (it was intermittently raining) and the costumes were hokey. Hey, at least I don't have to take credit for that -- he picked my wardrobe. I thought it looked cheesy to begin with.

I got what I wanted, however -- a nice head shot. The rest of the pictures didn't matter too much to me at the time, however seeing just how bad they are is, admittedly, a disappointment. Why? Because despite my hesitance, resistance, and the fact that it is "so not me," I kinda wanted to be good as a model. I mean, isn't that a great bomb to just drop into a conversation? "Yeah, I was a model once..." It makes people look at you differently. At least it makes me look at people differently. I've heard people make statements like that before and suddenly, the average-looking person turns into something more as I scrutinize their features, wondering what caught someone's eye enough to want them to be their model.

I have no idea how other people look at me. My long hair certainly draws attention, but in terms of beauty or any measurable physical standard of excellence, I am low, low, low. I'm not saying this publicly for a rush of assurance that I'm not hideous -- trust me, there have been many times in my life when I thought I looked like Quasimodo and now is not one of them -- but rather to say that despite knowing that I will never have people look at me and envy my looks, I am more than happy with my appearance.

First of all, my body is healthy and does what I want it to do. What more could I ask for? Secondly, I would much rather be known by my personality and my talents than my appearance. Beauty fades so quickly, and in our culture that values youth, we very rarely have role models who are more beautiful on the inside than on the out. Especially if those role models are women.

Celopatra set the bar high. Her seductions changed the course of history. Yet unlike popular belief, she was not beautiful. As the Roman historian Plutarch said of Cleopatra VIII, "Her beauty was not in itself incomparable, nor such as to strike those who saw her. What made Cleopatra attractive was her wit, charm, and the sweetness in the tone of her voice.”

And no, I'm not saying all this as a huge preface to my "ugly" pictures -- if I really thought they were that terrible, I wouldn't be sharing them. I'm just saying something that I think we all have to remind ourselves from time to time. Confidence isn't always easy to come by. But true beauty is found within.

To be mean, I could throw up a picture of someone I know who is fairly homely and has a self-centered, shallow, selfish personality, which makes their appearance all the more hideous. Where sometimes I look at this person and think that if they were nicer, I would look past their physical failings without thought and see someone beautiful. Kind of like when you got to know someone you like, they just get prettier and prettier.

Okay, this post wasn't very coherent, so that's enough from me for right now!

Waiting for a train in manipulated colors so that I look super white

I think I'm supposed to look irritated while waiting for the train... in that ridiculous pose... with duck lips that could rival Christian Bale's

My face mirrors my thoughts

The headshot! If I look awkward, it's because he made me flick my hair every two seconds then would snap a shot of it in "action."

I like to call this one "Three days sober and ready to leave the rez!"

I was waiting for him to adjust the flash. I swear half of the shots he gave me were ones he took claiming he was adjusting the flash.

Do I look smug? It's cuz I totally put a bomb on that train, heha.

I should've worn make-up. Otherwise your face comes out looking super fat in 2-D, like it does here, but if you have blush or something to highlight the contours of your face, it comes across as looking more 3-D. But as someone who normally never wears make-up, that was asking too much. I mean, I have the facepaint crayons I use to draw on Ronon's beard, but that seemed like it would've been too dramatic.

Okay, so I leave the last word to Natasha Bedingfield who has several inspirational songs, but this one's about true beauty! And reflects a journey many of us young women have gone through.

"Freckles"

Bye, Olympics!

The closing ceremonies

Well, it was a great 17 days! I'm sad to see the Olympics go, for I enjoy getting to know all of the athletes and rooting for them as they compete to perform their best. Maybe that is what it likes to love a sport's team. I wouldn't know. But most sports fans don't have to wait 4 years between competitions!

Here's to hoping for the best for all of the athletes. I'm excited to see what many of them do next, and to discover who will rise to take the places of the veterans who will no longer be competing in the Olympics.

It's no secret by now that I'm a big fan of Apolo Anton Ohno and am so happy for him with his record-shattering 8 Olympic medals, making him the most decorated winter Olympian in history.

That said, I completely disagree with the call made by the head Canadian speed skating ref which disqualified Ohno from the 500m final. Apolo lightly rested his hand on the back of a Canadian skater (which is common practice in speed skating to avoid bumping into the other skater and to let them know that you're there)... and the guy lost his balance and fell. You can tell from the footage that Apolo wasn't applying any pressure, but as often seems to happen when Apolo is behind someone, the skater fell. I swear they realize a god is behind them and freak out. The same thing happened to Apolo in an early race (when the Canadian used enough physical force to literally push Apolo out of his position) but no call was made. Probably because Apolo's a better skater and didn't fall. He skates lower to the ice than most of the other guys, which seems to give him an advantage when it comes to balance.

My Facebook status that night sums up my feelings on the matter: "I am now so very motivated to buy a new recurve bow. So that I can use a picture of the Canadian Speed Skating Short Track ref as a target. I'm being nice right now."

But while Apolo has said that he disagrees with the call and that he thinks it was biased because the ref was Canadian, he's more than gracious and happy with his accomplishments. So if he's happy, I suppose I should be, as well. But given that I hit a bull's eye from 30 yards when I pretended it was Bellatrix Lestrange's head after reading the fifth Harry Potter book, I think this whole scandal with the ref might improve my aim.

The Olympics celebrate many different forms of self-expression: figure skating, ice dancing, etc. However none are more classy, emotive, and amazing as US Bobsledding pilot Steve Holcomb's "Holcy Dance."

The Holcy Dance

Talk about ridiculously catchy. Now I'll be able to wow everyone with my mad dance skillz. And for those who don't know, Holcomb and his team won the US its first gold medal in four men bobsled in 62 years! That's cause to do the Holcy dance!

Mackenzie's Momma -- Aww you must really miss your kids! And as for the winter Olympics being events "normal" people can do, I suppose I agree, but at the same time... I can't even stand still and stick out my leg at a right angle, much less while balancing on an ice skate! ;)

Tracie -- This particular Commie is relentless. The only way to get him to stop rubbing on us is to let out an "ooooooo" sound in harmony so that the noise drives him away. And even then he takes his time until the sound irritates him. But we love him anyway, and it doesn't help that as soon as he's gone, we miss him and want him to come back and annoy us again like a true little brother.
the other amanda -- Isn't that video clip hilarious? It's silent afterwards because Alex and I were laughing so hard that we couldn't breathe!

Random Stuff

Colonel Jack O'Neill of SG-1

Okay, so I'm a little obsessed with the Olympics right now, but there is other stuff happening on our mountain. For example, the other morning began with a dance fest that resulted in catastrophe.

"General Hammond" Takes a Spill

Alex had a birthday. As you can see, I went a little overboard in the gift department.

We caught Tumnus on the roof of his house.

One day there was a bit of sun, so we decided to go outside and play dinosaurs in the sandbox. But then the Communist kept bothering us, so we put him in time out.

Commie in a cage

Here he is being guarded by none other than Daniel Jackson

He could've escaped any time that he wanted, but I think he enjoyed it. He was purring all the while.

Repent!

Dr. Fraiser

I also got the final prints from the photographer. They're pretty awful. I guess I'll put them up later.

Mackenzie's Momma -- Let's hope we can avoid walking into things. ;) And yes, the Olympics this year, despite the tragedy, have been wonderful. I always enjoy them more than the summer Olympics. That's cool about your aunt! I guess that means she knew David Faustino!

Winners!

Go Chunkles!

Our athletes are doing amazing. On Saturday, Apolo Anton Ohno raced in the 1000m short track and earned his seventh medal, making him the most decorated winter Olympian in history. Way to go, Apolo! What's even more amazing, is that a bad pass sent him from second to fifth place in a manner of seconds, and he managed to catch up to snare the bronze. I look forward to watching his upcoming races.

Though I'm still pissed at the judging call that took Apolo's teammate, J.R. Celski, out of the semis. A Frenchman grabbed his hips from behind (I kid you not, I couldn't get that out of my head, either) and when JR flung his arm back to bat him off and keep skating, Mr. French lost his balance and crashed. Okay, so the guy is actually Canadian, but his name is French. And the ref called the foul on JR and disqualified him. Maybe it's my ignorance of the rules of short track, but how the heck was JR the one fouling? Did he make a bad pass? Are you not allowed to swat Frenchmen off your ass?

Just five months ago, JR's own skate cut his thigh and he nearly bled out on the ice. Now he's got a bronze in the Olympics!

We'll see you at the rest of your events, JR!

And yesterday, Alpine Skier Bode Miller had the ride of his life in the men's super combined. His downhill time wasn't the best, but his slalom run was phenomenal, and he won his first Olympic gold. More importantly, he felt that he earned the gold because he gave the run his all, and worked so hard for it.

Awesome job, Bode!

Olympians aren't the only ones setting records. For the second year in a row, I have won the national BEA Media Arts Festival Student Screenwriting Competition for my script Daughters of the Wind. On top of that, I also took Best in Festival out of all the screenwriting categories. This is a big deal for my university, which continues to show its writing dominance over expensive film schools like UCLA.

I was excited to go to Las Vegas for the festival until I realized it's on the same weekend that I have to take my MFA exam. Luckily, my screenwriting professors are rallying behind me and have been pressuring the program director to let me take the exam earlier, so we'll see what happens.

In related news, I've been having some great conversations with a manager and am about to start work on an outline for her. If all goes well, I'll write the script, she'll sell it, and I'll sign with her. I'm also working with an agent at one of the top 6 agencies to pitch 10 ideas for TV shows. This isn't the first time I've started down this path, and I've learned not to hold my breath. I've just never shared the news publicly before. I guess I was superstitiously paranoid that I'd curse it. Or maybe it's like a pregnancy and you don't want to tell anyone till you're sure all is going well. At any rate, now you all know. What comes next is anyone's guess!

All right. That's it from me today. Enjoy the last week of the Olympics. I should get some writing done!

Mackenzie's Momma -- Yes, thank the gods for DVRs! I'm so glad you were able to watch the skating. I hope my blog didn't spoil the results for you! And you saw Apolo? Like, walking by? How cool! I would've stared. And walked into things because I was staring.

Batman Beats the Russian King!

Evan Lysacek wins GOLD!

I get as obsessed and tense about figure skating as other people do about football and hockey and other sports. To me, the men's free skate last night was pulse pounding. I don't know exactly what it is about figure skating that so enamors me, but the agility, grace, composure, and artistic expression (especially in men, which we don't see a lot of public outlets for in this country) always snares my heart and hopes. I literally become breathless with each set up for a jump.

All of the figure skaters did wonderfully, including American Johnny Weir who got a shockingly low score. The internet was immediately on fire with "he was robbed because he's GAY" posts, and while I wouldn't 100% rule that out (especially with international judges), most people crying "foul!" on their blogs have no knowledge of the sport. It's a combined event. His scores in the short program were low, so even if they were great in the free skate (which he was), he'd score lower than guys who -- yes -- fell on their asses. I love Weir's individuality and kinda hoped that he'd somehow win gold, just to see the look on Plushanko's face when he realized he'd not only been out-skated by an American man, but by a gay man.

Awaiting the scores for his free skate last night

Note: this is all speculation because Weir doesn't comment on his sexuality, so I'm making the same assumptions here that many others have over the years. Maybe he's just a really flamboyant individual. Either way, Plushanko would not enjoy being bested by someone who skated with a pink tassel on his shoulder. And yes, Johnny, you so rocked the tassel.

Rocking the tassel in his short program

Who we were really rooting for, however, was Stephane Lambiel, The Little Prince! His artistry and musicality always far surpass his rivals, and he delivered both in his short program. Unfortunately, he was a little too tense in the free skate, and his personality didn't come through as much. Yet 4th place in the Olympics is not bad at all! We got to see Lambiel perform when the stars on ice show came to town back in 2007. I hope it happens again! We love the Little Prince!

For whatever reason, pictures of him performing last night are almost impossible to find at the moment, so here's a shot of him in his super snazzy outfit from Torino.

Check out how gorgeous the end of his short program was here.

And then came "Batman," as we call Evan Lysacek. His coach, Frank Carroll (Alfred to us), also coached Michelle Kwan and Timothy Goebel, two amazing skaters who never won gold. Like Bruce Wayne, Lysacek is obsessed with what he does. He's determined to be as fit as possible, and his coach often has to tell him to stop practicing. In his own words, he works so hard that he can barely make it to bed every night.

Batman

Batman and Alfred

...I don't know how that one got in here

And at 71, Carroll knew that he shouldn't have his hopes too high. But then Lysacek cut across the ice with a strength and fluidity largely absent that night. He skated in a dark outfit to dark music, and nailed every jump. As soon as the music ended, the sheer joy on his face was priceless. No matter the outcome, Master Wayne had done his very best.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

And Plushenko... his name has been commonly-spoken in our house since his debut Olympics in 2002. I remember going to 4-H snow camp that year and making a snowman of him (to knock over). His nose and his string cheese hair are like no other. His attitude tops both, however. I'll never forget him discussing his 2002 rival, Alexei Yagudin, saying "I will crush him beneath my skates!"

In Salt Lake City, 2002, with Alexei Yagudin and Timothy Goebel

Ever since Plushenko stood on that podium, refusing to look at Yagudin (who won gold) as the anthem played, I have loved him. Not a stereotypical type of love. A love to hate type of love. The same love I have for Michael Shanks and David Thewlis and all manner of other people. But anyway, Plushenko is an extremely talented skater. There will never be another like him. His short program was nearly flawless. His free skate was nearly strained. His cockiness was palpable.

Talk to za hand.

I knew he couldn't hold it in when he lost the gold. He's already saying that if a man doesn't do a quad in figure skating, then it's not figure skating, it's dancing. He also ran onto the podium and pretended he won the gold for a little while. Yes, I wouldn't love him if he wasn't so annoying and had the promise of being a terrible loser. And though he's 27 (old age for a figure skater) I'll bet he'll be back in 2014. The games are on his turf then, and he'll be looking for a way to win another gold.

I vin za gold! Or... maybe not...

This might not be it for Lysacek, as well, for in an interview this morning he stated: "I love skating. I can't at this point imagine my life without it. I know I'm 24 … but I feel like I'm in the best shape of my life. … And right now, pending any other major events in my life, that's my plan … to keep competing." If anyone can hold their own against younger competitors in 2014, it's Batman. And what an achievement it is -- to win gold in such a fiercely talented, competitive generation of skaters, possibly the best there's ever been. That is no small feat.

Awesome job, Evan! We're so proud of you. You earned it!

Woo hoo!

You can check out his free skate here.

Other athletes I'm rooting for are Alpine skiier Bode Miller who has returned to his third Olympics with a new attitude -- way to go, Bode! And, of course, my love: Apolo Anton Ohno. His race on Saturday will be a thing to see, for certain. I mean, obviously it's a thing and if you watch it then you're seeing it, which could be anything, like two ants walking on a piece of cheese, but never mind. It should be epic, is what I mean.

Go Chunkles, go!

the other amanda -- Thanks, hun! The Smeagol ones were the funnest to shoot, so maybe that's why they turned out best. ;)

Mackenzie's Momma -- Too hippy to be a stage model? Pshh. You'd be doing them a favor -- most of those girls don't have hips. That's great about your play -- how exciting!!!

Tracie -- Thanks so much! Unfortunately, I think I'm too little too late for the Hobbit casting, but since they needed people with New Zealand work permits and visas, it was a super long shot anyway. But oh well, at least now I have a head shot in case anything else pops up!

Anonymous -- I know you are a robot, I just can't figure out what you're gaining by spamming. With proper punctuation, too. Go away.

Modeling

Well, this is awkward, but on Saturday I was a model. Before I get into the story of the photo shoot, let me start by saying that modeling is certainly something I've never considered as a career. But hey, try everything once, right? It all started because I wanted a cheap head shot that I could use in case I wanted to audition for any acting roles... like, um, as an extra in The Hobbit. Before I realized that the complicated working visa situation meant that the filmmakers would primarily be casting Kiwis as extras for The Hobbit, I felt that I couldn't let the opportunity pass by without trying. So I went about finding out how to get a free head shot. A site called modelmayhem.com helps models and photographers find each other for projects in their area, and I read on a message board that it was a good way to get a professional head shot if you don't want to pay an average $100. In exchange for the head shot, you model for the photographer in a Time For agreement (you get a few pictures to compensate for your time and the photographer gets to add to his/her portfolio).

A lot of the work on modelmayhem strikes me as desperate. I'll never understand why some women are so willing to be photographed in scantily-clad, provocative poses, showing everything they've got. I mean, good for them to be so bold, but we all have an ass and boobs. Why is there the need to advertise them to the world? But I digress. A local photographer contacted me, and his portfolio was artistic and competent, so I agreed to a TF shoot.

My wonderful friend Tanya came along and we met in a public place (I still had a knife in my purse just in case but the photographer doesn't need to know that). Poor Tanya wound up being our pack mule and carried all my changes of clothes, shoes, coat, etc., and got roped into being the photographer's assistant, helping him by holding the reflectors needed to get the necessary lighting. She's such a good sport and curious that she had a lot of fun. I've always loved that about you, Tanya! :)

To be honest, I thought the outfit he picked for me first was kinda cheesy. Black boots, black hat, and a white, strapless dress. I posed in an 1800s set-up by steam trains, water towers, and old buildings, and oddly enough, was sore from the poses. You have to contort your body to look like an "S" and when I told the photographer that I wasn't exactly comfortable, he said "If you're in pain, you're doing it right."

Yeah, those are my riding boots -- Durangos -- complete with authentically bowed-legs from genes and growing up on the back of a horse.

I was supposed to look at the train without turning my head...

I have new respect for models. Especially because I'm sure most of my shots turned out horribly thanks to my pained expressions and stiff stances. But apparently we looked professional enough to gather some attention. I hadn't noticed, but a train had just let off a bunch of tourists, and a rather rotund, polite man approached and asked the photographer if his friends from India could take pictures with his model. "You're asking the wrong person," the photographer replied, and I told them that I didn't mind and posed with each. Maybe one of the lads is in movies and I'll get calls from Bollywood soon... Ha.

A witch with a "fan"

After that location, I put on a dress I wasn't fond of (and thus didn't mind ruining) and we headed into the redwoods for some forest shots. It was rather cold and the sunlight was unpredictable, but I had fun climbing in trees.


My favorite part, however, was when I dragged myself through the mud to get dirty, then posed like Smeagol/Gollum in the hollow of a burned-out redwood. Of course, those were the shots the photographer said I probably wouldn't get a copy of, but it was fun to finally do a pose with some narrative dynamics.

Smeagol with Gollum in the reflection

Afterward, I washed up as best I could (...with water from another puddle) then we took some head shots by some trees. By then it was going on 4 hours and I was more than ready to go home. Unfortunately, I have a habit of wearing my thoughts on my face, and you can see my annoyance in some of the pictures. Oops!

This one's a sample from the photographer... hopefully it's okay that I'm sharing it

I don't have any of the finished pictures yet, but the ones I'm posting are a few that Tanya took while we set up and shot. Modeling is definitely not for me. I didn't mind having my picture taken (I mean, all I had to do was stand there, even though it was sometimes painful) but I'm not fond of looking at the pictures afterward. So it's a little embarrassing to share them... but by nature, blogs are vain and self-absorbed, which means it's no secret that I can be both at times, so I don't know what my qualms are about.

Oh, come on. No comments on my last post about Star-ving? Seriously, people, check it out!

Mackenzie's Momma -- Your mom is so lucky to have you as a daughter. What a fighter you are! :) And yes, we did manage to save our sims. Not that it did my Jonas Quinn sim any good. In the span of 24 hours, he was abducted by aliens, impregnated, and turned into a plant (while he was pregnant). None of those things have ever happened to one of my sims before, so I was both in shock and hysterics. Poor Jonas! And you get to meet Corin Nemec? How cool! You should definitely check out Star-ving then. He seems like he's got a great sense of humor. Oh, and about the weather -- as you well know -- it's not usually the fact that the weather is extreme that makes it worth mentioning, in my opinion, but rather the fact that people like you and I don't sit inside and look at it, but have to go out and labor in it, whether it's hail, torrential rain, 104 degrees, etc. ;)